Take Care and Be Happy

The criticisms that were often made of him were not altogether unfamiliar.  That he had tried to lift himself out of the mundane routines and practicalities of everyday existence and tried in vain to reach for something slightly beyond his grasp is true.

He did not see himself as better or superior to others in any sense but he accepted that he might have given that impression. He was making sacrifices and he hoped that it is worth the struggle.

Every now and then he came back to earth with a bump and blinked his eyes and looked around and at times like that the warm ideal he had carefully constructed to protect his fragile existence always crumbled in the face of cold reality.

You never signed up for this life and your dreams may have taken second place to his but he never intended that to happen.  Every thing is too painful now and your words pierce him like icy daggers, but to what end?  Does reality have to be so harsh?  Do people always have to be opponents?

You say that he tried in every way to hurt you and that nothing works anymore.  You have heard it all before and that he should try something new. You are immune to harsh words and hardened to any acts of self harm saying that they are the actions of a self-absorbed, indulgent person, who is essentially selfish. He has no defence.

So what is there left but to be alone and for him to live his life insulated and isolated from others including you.  Can happiness ever be found in an emotional vacuum? Will sadness envelope such a person and consume them?

He cannot bear to hear the voices of those he loves and all he sees is the face of a child that looked as he departed.  There is no escape from the voices that haunt him. He is cursed forever and his art means nothing and gives no comfort. A waste in the end.