Love @ First Byte

 Will Sutton was a second year philosophy student who knew he was in a considerable amount of debt.  He woke up in the mornings and worried how he was going to eat, as he ate his meagre breakfast of cornflakes with barely a splash of milk.  He worried in the shower how he was going to pay the rent until the end of term.  His parents were coming to visit him today and he would probably have to explain to them why, despite the fact he had a part time job, that he constantly asked them to send him money.  His parents, though not poor, were not wealthy people and already gave their son a sizeable allowance each month that should have been more than enough for him to live on.  It was therefore a puzzle to them why he constantly pleaded poverty and begged them for more.  They had decided to visit him, determined to try to get to the bottom of the matter, and fairly firm in their resolve that enough was enough.

Will knew very well why he was in debt and it was something he really did not want to share with his parents.  It came down to a fundamental cash flow problem.  The monies going out of Wills bank account exceeded the amount he had coming in.  The reason sat in the corner of Wills room under a white bed sheet.  Even when covered it was oozing with designer style.  He had gone into the Proton shop that day to buy a Probook but the assistant sensing a young man impressed by the technology on offer had told him to pocket money that he had saved and to go for the top of the range Proton Pro special with everything for just a small monthly sum -the ‘fastest most configurable Proton ever’.  It had seemed like a bargain when the assistant had convinced him that it was less than he had imagined.  He knew at the time he should have been stronger but he knew that he was in love.  When the black boxes were delivered he opened them with trembling fingers.  He had to find a way to keep up the payments or he would lose her forever.   Yes, he had decided that the computer was the only thing that mattered and was practically glued to the screen for days on end.  He barely went out anymore preferring to spend his time delicately tapping her keyboard as lightly as possible.  He could not bear to be parted from her and after eating hurried meals and attending essential lectures he returned as quickly as he could, his heart racing with anticipation, until he saw her again.

At 1:30pm Will reluctantly met his parents at the station and they hailed a cab.  ‘Why don’t you take us to your digs Will?’ His mother smiled at him with all the maternal warmth at her command and he almost agreed as he too wanted to return to his room but just stopped himself remembering.  ‘Not today Mum it’s in a bit of a mess and the landlady might be home.’ ‘Your Father and I would like to see where you live Will I am sure your landlady won’t mind.’  He knew he was on extremely shaky ground.  ‘There is a strict rule of no visitors so I’m sorry Mum I am going to have to say no.’ His Father looked at him suspiciously.  ‘So what do you do when you want to show someone you want to know a bit better like a young lady your room?’  His father was a lot harder to fool than his mother.  ‘I don’t have time for girlfriends Dad.’  At this his mother burst into tears ‘I knew it.  Didn’t I tell you? He’s got himself into trouble.’  The cab driver looked into the rear view mirror to check all was well.  Will and his father both looked a little puzzled.  ‘Don’t you realise what he’s been trying to tell us?’  Wills father shook his head.  ‘He’s gay.  I knew it I’ve always known it.’  His father looked at him.  ‘Is that what this is about Will? Is this why you need so much money?’  Will shook his head in disbelief.  ‘I’m not gay and even if I was do you think I am going to ‘come out’ in the back of a black cab with Mum in tears and the cab driver no doubt listening in.  I am not sure I follow the logic here.  I said I don’t have time not that I don’t like women.’  The cab driver smiled in the mirror.

The cab arrived at the city centre and they made for China Town.  ‘It’s just expensive living in the city I keep running out of money.’  He realised he would have to come up with something better than this.  They went to an ‘eat as much as you like from the buffet’ restaurant.  Will didn’t seem to have much of an appetite.  He was aware his father was watching him intently as he went back for his fourth extremely small helping. ‘You are either not hungry or you have gone off Chinese food Will.’ His father looked thoughtful and whilst his mother was looking for the ice cream he turned to him with a serious expression.  ‘Tell me what’s really going on.  What’s the problem?  Is it drugs,  a woman, alcohol, gambling?  Is someone taking your money?’  Will looked at his father and saw the concern in his face.  If there was one person in the world who he could tell it was his father.  Suddenly he felt an overwhelming urge to share his problem ‘It’s a computer.’  His father shifted uneasily in his seat.  ‘I see.  So, what are we talking about?’  Will could see his mother piling ice cream into three bowls.  ‘She’s a Proton Pro.’  He could see a flicker of surprise in his father’s expression.  ‘You have expensive tastes son I’ll say that for you.   I was looking at that particular model the other day as a matter of fact.  I expect she’s the latest model with all the add-ons -am I right?’  Will hung his head in shame.  His father could read him like a book. His father’s first computer had been a standard model and he had worked long and hard to save for it. ‘I thought so.  We can’t tell your mother she’s a good woman but she wouldn’t understand.  I’ll ring you tonight and we’ll work something out.  In the meantime don’t worry.  You must be missing her pretty bad right now -am I right?’  Will nodded his head. ‘OK after this your mother and I will scoot off to the shops and you get back to her.’

That night his father phoned him as promised.  Will felt a lot better with some food inside and also he knew his father would do his best to help him.  His father told him to pack up his things as he was driving down to pick him up.  Apparently he had spoken to the university and he was taking a year off for personal reasons.  His father had also spoken to his landlady and paid her an extra months rent.  Will packed all his things and of course his computer was carefully placed back in its black boxes and carried these downstairs.  Just as he finished the doorbell rang and his father helped him to load everything into the car.  Once everything was placed securely inside he climbed into the passenger seat and tried to relax as much as possible until they reached his parents home in the suburbs.

It wasn’t long before Will had all his things back in his old bedroom.  It felt a bit strange being back home again but the prospect of home cooked meals and being looked after again was a welcome relief from the stress he had felt in recent weeks.  He relished the prospect of being able to spend even more time with his computer.  Of course he attended to her as a matter of priority and by 11:30pm he was once more bathed in the glow of the screen and his fingers once more danced lightly across her keyboard as he spoke to her reassuringly.  He had a feeling of deep satisfaction and realised that all his anxiety about making payments had prevented him from truly giving reign to his feelings for her.  He felt as if he was really connecting with her for the first time and as application after application flashed onto the screen he experienced himself becoming more and more excited until he could almost bear it no longer.  Just at that moment he heard a knock on his door and his father’s voice calling him.  He went to the door cautiously opening it a crack.  When he saw it was just his father he let him in.

‘She’s a real beauty isn’t she Will?’ His father bent down and looked closely at his computer.  The fans purred almost silently and the screen saver pulsated rythmically in synchrony with his heartbeat.  His father ran his fingers lightly across the edge of the keyboard.  Will suddenly anxious took a step forward defensively, standing between the computer and his father.  His father noticed his discomfort and backed away raising his arms.  ‘Oh, I am sorry I couldn’t help my self.  She’s like a work of art Will.  I’ve never seen a computer like her.’  Will started to feel a little uneasy to hear his father talk about his computer like this.  He had never shown his computer to anyone else and even though this was his father he couldn’t help feeling that this was a very personal part of his life that he did not want to talk about.  ‘What I’ve decided to do is to pay the debt off from my savings.  I was going to buy you a car when you graduated but that’s not going to happen for another three years now so I guess it won’t hurt but you need to get a job and start paying me back the rest.  I’ll tell your mother that I bought it for you and that you are paying me back.’  He was impressed by his father.  Of course he didn’t have to do this for him at all.  ‘Thanks Dad.’ He father paused to glance at the computer again.  ‘You’re welcome. Believe me I understand how you feel.  Maybe some day you will let me have a closer look at her.’  Will knew that he meant it but he felt uneasy because until he had paid his father back he could never say his computer was completely his after all two was company and three was too many.

In the weeks to come Will found a job and couldn’t wait to get home every day to be with his computer.  He felt such a deep attachment to her that it was all he could do to concentrate on his work.  He had a Polaroid of her in his pocket that he would look at on his numerous trips to the toilet.  His workmates teased him and wanted to know all her specifications in intimate detail. He talked about her a bit but always felt uncomfortable especially when his workmates left computer magazines around with full spread articles featuring his model left open tantalisingly.  They all swapped all kinds of stories about their computers that didn’t make him feel better at all.  Many had had problems and a few seemed to be veterans of computer relationships and carried the scars of past affairs.  He was however only interested in his own computer and talking about other computers did nothing for him at all.  All he lived for was to see his computer when he got home and it became increasingly difficult to wrench himself away from her in the mornings.

It was about his fourth week living at home that he began to notice a few things that began to worry him.  He came home one day and noticed that his chair had been moved and also a slight hesitancy when he booted her up.  He asked his mother if she had been in his room but she told him she never went in there since he had told her not to.  A few days later he was returning home and he was certain he heard saw a light on in his room.  Entering his room he stood on his chair and felt the light fitting – it was still hot.  He looked around but nothing else seemed to have been touched.  About a week later he came home and had a strange feeling.  He went to his room and could not see anything out of place.  He powered up the computer and for a brief moment saw an image on the screen that he had not seen before.  Her response seemed a little sluggish and he worried whether she had some kind of virus.  A full system check reassured him.  It was then that his father began to visit him regularly asking him many questions about his computer.  He told him he was thinking about getting one of his own.  Will smiled.  ‘Won’t Mum be jealous?’  He joked.  His father didn’t reply.  That night Will had a nightmare.  He dreamed that there was a smudge on his computer screen and he had taken a soft cloth to remove it.  The more however he tried to remove it the bigger the smudge became until it filled the screen.  Will woke up sweating and could not get back to sleep.

It was a Friday when he returned from work a little later than usual.  He opened the front door.  He could hear his mother crying before he had the door open and ran to the kitchen to see what was wrong.

‘What’s the matter Mum?’ He looked at his mothers tear streaked face. He had never seen her like this before. 

‘It’s your father.  He’s left us.’

His father was always away on business but Will knew this was a bit different.

‘What do you mean left us?’

 ‘Oh Will, haven’t you noticed how strangely he’s been acting lately?  Didn’t you notice the new clothes and all those brochures everywhere?’

Will had noticed a few brochures around but put this down to his father taking an interest in his welfare.

‘Ever since you came home he’s been obsessed.  How can I hope to compete?   I’ve been turning a blind eye to it but I couldn’t stand it any longer and now he’s gone.’

 She put her head down on the table and sobbed loudly again.

‘Gone?  Where has he gone?  What’s happened?’

‘I knew he was up there I could hear the floorboards creaking.  I shouldn’t have done it but I went up there anyway.  I opened the door and saw him at it.  I told him what I thought of him carrying on like that with his own son’s computer in our own home.  He’s taken her with him.  The pair of them have gone away together and left us.  I’m sorry Will I know how attached you were to her.  I couldn’t stop him.  It’s too …’

Will didn’t bother to listen as he was already bounding up the stairs two at a time to his bedroom, a feeling of sick dread already taking hold of him.  He burst through his bedroom door and saw that it was empty.  He spun round and ran down the stairs again and out the front door.  His father’s car was missing.  He let out a howl of frustration and rage and sank to his knees pounding the pavement with his fists until they bled.  He flopped forwards and lay there crying his heart out until his mother opened the front door and taking him in her arms half carried half dragged him back inside.